I've been wanting to tell you guys something, something very important ! As I hope most of you realize Mistress Izzy and I are besides being in a wonderful sub/dom relation in a normal love relation too :) I love her extremely very much, and I'm very thankful to have found such a great woman in my life. BDSM is fun, extremely fun even, but we have normal sex like normal people too. And there's what I want to talk about today. A while ago I suffered from stage 4 Hodgkin's lymphoma, I had 6 chemo rounds and I nearly lost all hope, no actually I lost all hope back then. When Mistress Izzy and I started dating we had sex quite fast to be honest. I'm not the person at all to have sex so fast after meeting someone, but what I had with her was quite magical. So if it feels good to both people, why not right ? With being ill for so long sex is sometimes really difficult for us, like really difficult. I need quite a lot of time to have an orgasm and sometimes I just won't get an erection... So I started faking orgasms, because I was to afraid to admit to my new girlfriend (Mistress Izzy) that I couldn't get orgasms and I was dead-afraid that she would think it had to do with her. A lot of times when I couldn't keep an erection I would fake an orgasm to save the situation. And I felt really bad about it. And I felt bad about it for a really long time, until I had the courage to take to Mistress Izzy about it. She told me very clearly that the fact having an orgasm is really really hard for me would never make her feel like I don't want her. And that faking orgasms is never a good thing, because it would become a vicious circle (faking an orgasms is much more easy than having to stop because you can't go on anymore, right ?) The real talk was a lot longer of course, and it took the both of us a little while to accept that the problem was 100% medical and that it had absolutely nothing to do with how we were attracted to each other. But eventually we did ! :)
(Big problem I was constantly thinking about: In the future we would like very much to have children and faking orgasms is kinda of big problem when you're trying to "make babies", as a med-student I have a good knowledge on IVF, and I was already thinking 5 years out front, on how we would handle trying to get pregnant. Sounds weird, but in my head that was easier than the whole orgasm-explain-thing...)
A bit foreward in time....
Yesterday and the day before that I had 2 orgasms in a row ! I don't want to sound freaky or overly excited about the simple fact that I had 2 orgasms in a row, but in the 7 months that Mistress Izzy and I have sex that never happend once until now :) So... I'm finally coming to my point. Having sexual contact after a disease (or during a disease...) can be, no, IS, very hard at moments, but it can be very good too. After all bad things lies a good thing, and the good thing will always overcome, and will always be there in the end. If you don't forget to keep buggering on !
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Hi everyone !
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